Wherefore art thou Fellatio?

“O Fellatio, Fellatio, wherefore art thou Fellatio?”  
It’s a question that’s on everyone’s lips at Revolt Theatre this coming week. And if Scott Major has his way, the search for Fellatio will continue beyond the bedroom door and into the public consciousness. 

 “O Fellatio, Fellatio, wherefore art thou Fellatio?”  
It’s a question that’s on everyone’s lips at Revolt Theatre this coming week. And if Scott Major has his way, the search for Fellatio will continue beyond the bedroom door and into the public consciousness. 
But who is Fellatio? Was he simply the silent cousin of Horatio in Shakespeare’s Hamlet?  Was it not Fellatio’s mistress who cried; ‘Is this a dagger which I see before me?’ The mystery surrounding this lesser known and misunderstood character is about to be turned on its head….literally.
Jumping straight from the Melbourne Fringe with the widely acclaimed Death in a Box into the arms of Independent Theatre comes Major’s newest production of The Fellatio Monologues.    
In 2007, Major’s double-header Both Sides of the Bar and The Fellatio Monologues was a sell-out success at Sentido Funf in St Kilda.  After several years of careful observation and practice, Major now breathes new life and a new monologue into this 2011 production. Written, directed and starring Major, along with a star-studded cast, this show will reach a climax like no other.
The original concept for The Fellatio Monologues came (pardon the pun) to Major following an experience with a former flame. It was during performance of the ‘said act’ that he looked down and realised the relationship was over. What compelled Major to take his experience onto the stage was the confronting truth that such an intimate act is so rarely talked about between couples.
Joining forces with prolific Sydney writer Wayne Tunks (who penned one of the monologues) Major sought to gain a greater understanding of the female perspective.  Enlisting the assistance of his female friends he managed to amass close to a hundred anonymous surveys from women telling their tales of the elusive Fellatio. What these very brave and honest heroines revealed is a comical and at times confronting view of how women feel about ‘the act’. 
According to Shakespeare: “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.” Major agrees saying that “it is rare to be thinking about the actual act when it is being performed – the sensuality, how it feels, the tantalising touch, the exquisite pleasure. Generally what is racing through most people’s minds is ‘Can he see/feel my fat?’  ‘Is he enjoying this?’ ‘Am I big enough?’  ‘Wide enough?’  ‘I hope she doesn’t use her teeth!’  ‘Where is this relationship heading?”  This is further exemplified when one of the female characters bemoans:  “Don’t think I can be bothered tonight anyway.  Why can’t he just fuck me?  That way I don’t have to think about it.”   While this show contains a lot of rude words and sexual innuendo, it is not all about ‘the act.’ And for those of you wondering whether this is Major’s riposte to The Vagina Monologues, rest assured the only things in common aside from male and female ‘bits’ is the word monologues. The Fellatio Monologues has a much deeper side to it than simply jokes about penises.  It is about human nature, in particular intimate human relationships; being at your most vulnerable and opening yourself up. As Major laments: “Every intimate moment speaks volumes about human nature but it’s not talked about.  Why can’t we just be open with people?”
Major goes on to explain that gratuitous porn, which is such a big part of today’s society, doesn’t teach people about intimacy. The first introduction that today’s kids have to sex will be hard-core porn on their iPhone or laptops. Unlike Major’s generation where they discovered sex by looking at their dad’s old 1970s Playboy magazines, the illusion of what sex is, is creating a chasm between what it appears to be and what intimacy actually looks like in its truest form.
The Fellatio Monologues introduces four monologues written by Major and one by Tunks all aimed to demystify the identity of Fellatio and his part in human relationships. They include:
What’s ExpectedBrent’s BoyIf You’re Still HungryThe Final BlowHe Says, She Says
And as a treat, the very talented Daniel Bowen will perform live and recorded music throughout the show.
For those of you who saw the original production in 2007, it is definitely worth taking another peek because this is a very different show. Filled with plenty of laughs, confronting truths and naughty bits, this no-nudity event is a show for everyone. 
Major has assemble a stellar cast including Paul O’Brien, Georgia Bolton, Daniel Bowden, Samantha Kenny and Wayne Tunks in his first foray into the Melbourne theatre scene. 
As Major and Tunks grapple with the show’s message they both agree you can take what you want from the evening.  If you want to self-assess; you can.  If you want to discover you’re not alone; you can. If you just want to have a laugh; you can.  But there is one warning:  be careful when you laugh during the show as it just might reveal more about you than the characters on stage.
Major ultimately believes that the foundation of all intimate relationships should be based on respect and honesty. As for the truth behind Fellatio’s identity, Shakespeare reveals this final clue: “Is this a dagger which I see before me?  The handle turned toward my hand. Come, let me clutch thee.”  Indeed! 
Written & Directed by Scott MajorAdditional monologue written by Wayne TunksProduced by Wayne Tunks & Scott MajorPresented by: Bathroom Floor Productions and Tunks Productions
Running time 55 minutes.
Revolt Theatre Melbourne12 Elizabeth Street, Kensington
The Fellatio Monologues runs from Wednesday 9th November to Saturday 19th November 2011.
Bookings:  www.revoltproductions.com