La la la la la la la love: Eurotrashed

Damn you Daniel Kilby! Maudit sois-tu! It took weeks to get Loreen’s “Euphoria” out of my head and now it’s back and it’s hard to write when I’m doing the dance and looking for my own dancing ninja.


If you have no idea what I’m on about, then I’m reaching a much broader demographic than I thought. I’m talking about the annual event that stops my world, the event whose delayed finals broadcast made me turn Facebook off for the first time in years.

Eurovision. Gay Christmas. It’s impossible not to love this annual celebration of white suits, glitter, wind machines and atrociously catchy pop music that’s been running since 1954. Only countries in the European Broadcasting Union can compete (which includes non-European countries; I don’t understand so please don’t ask), but that doesn’t make it any less popular in the rest of the world and it’s watched by squillions.

Dan’s a fan with whom I can never compare. I’ve forgotten who sang what by the time we get to voting at the Eurovision party;  Dan knows who scored what in 2003, has all the CDs and knows the lyrics.

He also knows the international rules of the Eurovision drinking game and Eurotrashed is a celebratory deconstruction of songs that define when and why we drink for Eurovision. If you’re only drinking for white suits, key changes and fire, you have a lot to learn and have possibly been far too sober for Eurovisions past.

And he sings these songs. Just him. No dancers, no inexplicable creatures, no commentary from the wonderful Julia and Sam. Of course he is wearing a white suit and suitably glittered shoes, but who doesn’t? The unexpected delight/horror is hearing the lyrics (does anyone really deserve to know what Jedward are singing?) and discovering that some songs are really quite good, and others worse than remembered.

As a first run show, it’s under rehearsed and Dan needs to relax and trust that what he’s doing is going to be loved. Eurotrashed must go to Midsumma after its Fringe tryout and working with a writer and director will give it a deserved 12 points. What made his 2011 show, Things I learned in high school, so lovely was the personal stories and the chance to get to know Dan. This is missing in Eurotrashed and I suspect that there are some very good stories that result from being drunk and covered in glitter. It also needs the obscure Eurovision trivia ramped up and a sense of the scope of this event for those who aren’t as obsessed.

Meanwhile, there’s one show left (Sunday). If you’re a Eurovision tragic, you’ll get it; the hardest thing is not singing along. (Please make the next run a sing-a-long.) If you don’t know Eurovision, shame on you, but Eurotrashed might inspire you to watch next year. And regardless, you get to hang at the glorious Butterfly Club, where watching the cocktails being made is as fun as watching the shows.

Anne-Marie Peard

Anne-Marie spent many years working with amazing artists at arts festivals all over Australia. She's been a freelance arts writer for the last 10 years and teaches journalism at Monash University.

Anne-Marie Peard

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